Trivia:
According to Emma Watson, the film has an ambiguous setting: "It could be set in any time. It could be set sort of like a thousand years in the future or a thousand years in the past... You shouldn't be able to place it too much." See more »
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Rating: 2/10
If you think building a giant boat that will protect a few selected
humans from God's forty day/forty night torrent, or the pairing up of
every animal, including reptiles, is detailed that much in director
Darren Aronofsky's fantastical epic, think again… All these important
elements occur as quickly as falling raindrops…
Thanks to giant spiderlike rock trolls – formerly fallen angels who
have risen from the Earth – constructing the Ark is easy enough. The
real task is Noah himself... will he ever come to his senses? Figuring
God must want all humans dead, eventually, Russell Crowe's bearded
prophet becomes more of a tormented villain than a Biblical icon, and
as doggone stubborn as two mules put together.
Once the Ark is built, and the Trolls have battled hordes of evil men
wanting a free ride, and the floods have taken over completely, scenes
where Noah's vengeful middle child is tempted by a nefarious stowaway
provides the only suspense. Meanwhile, the best visual shows Creation
as Noah tells the story around a cozy on-deck fire… This is about the
only time dad gets any respect from his family, all on the verge of
mutiny, and then some.
While it's understandable that poetic license must be taken when basing
an entire motion picture from a surprisingly few amount of verses, it
seems Aronofsky's either making the flood story seem as engagingly
far-fetched for Believers as the Bible itself is to Non-Believers, or
perhaps he simply wanted to direct a big budget disaster film for
everyone, no matter what their religion or lack of. But NOAH is much
too slow and brooding for its own good…
What we can use right now is some old school Charlton Heston:
over-the-top or not, that man delivered!
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